I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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