Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize
