I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
