so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
