oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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