4 words: hood of his car
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My dick has a subreddit
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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