I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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