I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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