waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
