FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
