so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
