just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Randomize
