Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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