my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
