there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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