They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
