I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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