remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
