yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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