actually, I'm a sock model
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
