I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
