Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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