I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
