shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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