i need an iv and a liver transplant
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Randomize
