Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize