No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
