Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
