got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm bleeding and have questions
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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