how can u be prego again
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize