my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
