hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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