what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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