Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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