piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
