that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
