My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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