I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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