Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize