$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize