i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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