woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I supernannyed him into submission
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
