He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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