Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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