My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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