I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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