That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
