I was born with a shot glass in my hand
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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