How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
