dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize