you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
