Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
