hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I FOUND THE LEGS
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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