Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
