My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
